Won't anyone think of the children?!
Earlier today the Spec reported that Hamilton has been named the second most vulgar Canadian city on Twitter. (First prize went to Brampton.) At first this may seem a dubious distinction, but let’s consider it for a moment.
TBK Creative, the branding company which did the research, says that the ranking is “of cities where the terms f&@k, sh*t, [and] da#%mit are mentioned most per city-centric tweet.” (The emphasis is mine.)
Well, not only is TBK being rather conservative in its selection of obscenities, but the tweets in question did not have to originate from a Hamiltonian. They simply had to be found in a tweet about Hamilton.
That alone casts reasonable doubt on whether we Hamiltonians are responsible for the sullying of cyberspace. What’s more, the study does not seem to have taken into account the tone of the profanity.
Briefly, let’s consider. Assume tweeters can be placed into one of two categories: Hamiltonians, and non-Hamiltonians. Furthermore, let us make the simplifying assumption that the titillating tweets about Hamilton can be considered to be either positive or negative.
This provides us with four scenarios:
Negative Outsider Tweets
These tweets are written by non-Hamiltonians and may seem, at least at face value, to be disparaging. One should consider, however, that such aggression may sometimes be the result of jealousy. For instance, a disappointed sports fan might, in a fit of discouragement, tweet:
Those incredible athletic specimens, the Hamilton Tiger Cats, beat my favorite football squad… again! #d@%&it
Negative Insider Tweets
We should also consider that, in moments of weakness, we too may lash out on Twitter against our fair city or fellow Hamiltonians. Sometimes it’s best to constructively clear the air. For example, a frequenter of Jackson Square might tweet:
Hey #HamOnt. We’ll just see who’s laughing at my scooter when $%it gets real. #zombieapocolypse #faster
Positive Insider Tweets
Profanity need not always be construed as negative. At times, Hamiltonians may make use of immodest language to emphasize their great admiration for the city, its institutions, and its character. A tweet from an Art Crawl on James North might read:
If Hamilton’s arts and culture scene was any better, I’d sh*% myself! #couldgetmessy
Positive Outsider Tweets
The positive use of lewd language is by no means limited to our own citizenry either. Non-Hamiltonians may use the occasional “swear” to express their appreciation for the city and all it has to offer, as in the example below:
F$@&. I wish I lived in #HamOnt.
In conclusion, those who might be chagrined by Hamilton’s latest distinction in the press needn’t be concerned. After all, Hamilton is the sh*t. (In a totally positive way.)
